Barely Consistent

I have good intentions.

I just don’t always follow through.

This is me — trying, stalling, and hoping I’ll get it right someday.

Last week, I took one step forward.

Yesterday? I took twelve steps back.

Last year, I was ten steps ahead.

This year, I’m fifty steps behind.

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The doctor said my blood pressure was low.

Told me I should start exercising.

So, I downloaded a yoga and fitness app.

The excitement was real.

I used it five times a week.

Then three.

Then once.

Then… I stopped.

“I don’t have to do it every day,” I told myself.

“I have other things to do.”

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Like scrolling endlessly through the internet

and lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing.

But I walk 1km to work every day—

that counts as exercise, right?

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Another time, I decided to move closer to God.

I started reading the Book of Acts.

One chapter a day.

I’d dissect it, research the characters, look up their names and backstories.

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Then I stopped researching and just read.

I told myself,

“I can get everything I need straight from the Bible. No need for extra study.”

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Then I stopped reading daily.

Just once a week.

God understands, right?

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24 hours feels too short for me.

I work a 9 to 5.

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And I need to take my social life seriously…

…like sitting at home doing nothing,

and fantasizing about things I don’t have.

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One step forward.

Twenty steps backward.

I want to do all these things.

I really do.

But unreasonable things keep me busy.

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And the sad part?

I actually do have an excuse.